Wedding in the deep south of Spain

It takes a village

The first weekend that Jose and I were back from the States we attended his oldest cousin´s wedding. She lives in the small village where Jose´s entire family (both sides) all resides. We knew that it was going to be a big wedding, an all day affair (and it was). We arrived around noon and I proceeded to get my hair done. Then we had lunch as a family and caught up with both sets of grandparents while aunts and cousins ran around getting ready. It was kind of a madhouse while we bounced between different residences saying hello to family we hadn´t seen all summer. 

Jose´s cousins with his grandfather, waiting for the bride
About an hour before the mass was about to start the bride´s family and friends all headed over to her house in order to accompany her across town to the church. Jose´s aunt asked him to escort her since he is her godson as well as being the oldest cousin. This small village has maintained a lot of their traditions and I was interested to see where the day would take us. As we walked behind Jose´s cousin and the father of the bride (his uncle), I only wished I had worn more comfortable shoes.

Get me to the church (but not exactly on time, the bride should get there after everyone else)
After the mass the newlyweds took photos by the altar and then walked out to a hail of rice and confetti. It reminded me of getting pegged by about 10 lbs of rice at my own wedding. Then the bride and groom danced sevillanas (typical southern flamenco-styled) to celebrate their nuptials. It was beautiful! They are both good dancers and looked very happy.


Time to eat

After the mass came another typical event in this village, the refresco (the refreshment). This entails renting out the hall that is located in the town square and opening it up to the entire community. People come and have a beer and a tapa at the long banquet tables set up lengthwise in the spacious rooms before giving the newlyweds a gift in a small envelope. They are in and out pretty quickly.

The entire town seemed to turn out
The aftermath
At first I was not sure what to think about this tradition. It seemed to me like a lot of money to spend and a lot of people to feed. People go to the refresco who were not invited to the wedding itself, to the mass or to the reception. There were a TON of people there! Basically everyone comes and leaves some monetary gift for the couple. In a way, this is the community giving the bride and groom a loan to help them get started in their new life together. Eventually they will pay it back (and then some) since they will attend other people´s weddings and other life events. When I think about it that way it makes more sense. People here are very much guided by the idea that they must "cumplir." They must meet their social obligations, they live by sort of a social contract. If someone has died, you go to their funeral and pay your respects. If there is a sick person, you visit them. If there is a wedding, you make an appearance at the very least and leave a token. It is a way to remain very connected and close as a community.

Some of the delicious tapas 
Later came the reception itself with over 500 guests. The sit-down dinner started around 12:30 at night and I was already tired. The food was typical with several different courses and obviously dessert. It didn´t end until around 3:00am. And only then was it time for music and cocktails. By that point I was so exhausted that I didn´t even make it to this final event. My feet were wrecked and it was time for bed. It was a long but beautiful day. 

Congratulations Marta and Chema!

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