Spanish people don't have a filter

In general I love Spanish culture and people but occasionally there are things that happen or are said that I end up thinking, "whaaaaaaaaaaaaa????" Most of the time this has to do with the fact that Spanish folks don't have a filter, especially when it comes to commenting on people's weight. It is perfectly socially acceptable for someone to tell you that since they saw you last your weight has fluctuated (either up or down). 

 I now know to expect this from Jose's family, for example. A visit is not made to see his grandparents without them telling us we are either fatter or skinnier. Without fail. They don't say it to be mean, but often times I walk away feeling bad. This too from the same people who 10 minutes later are pushing food on you like it's your last meal. You don't make sense!

 This lack of filter reached new heights the other day when the security guard where I work made a comment to me as I was leaving after class. He said that I had lost weight. At first, I was like, "awww how nice". Then I thought, "wait a minute, we don't have the kind of relationship where it's ok for you to mention that". Besides saying "hi, the weather is nice today, huh"? We really haven't had a lot of interaction. And it wasn't like he said it to be creepy. It was just stated like a fact. Like a Spanish person. Because it is acceptable. And it drives me crazy!

Comments

  1. Emily Serafa ManschotDecember 12, 2013 at 2:23 PM

    Just wait until you have a baby! It took me about five years to truly get back to my fighting weight after Eric was born. We went to see our Spanish friends who live in Almoradí, Alicante, when he was three. I could hear the comments like "Está más gorda..." all over the place!

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  2. Emily Serafa ManschotDecember 12, 2013 at 2:31 PM

    Also, reading the post again made me notice the security guard's comment--was he flirting a bit with you? I notice I don't see men making outward comment towards women (piropos) as much as they used to. Maybe it's because I'm old and hang out more with families and friends our age. What has been your experience with piropos, Allie?

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    Replies
    1. AllieDecember 12, 2013 at 5:05 PM

      I didn´t get the sense that it was a piropo. It was like he was just stating a fact. And you are right, I think the "flirtatious" (harassing) comments are not as common as I imagine they were in the past.

      Delete
  3. AnonymousDecember 12, 2013 at 6:21 PM

    Sometimes your Blog is full of generalizations! No todos los españoles somos tan poco cuidadosos en nuestros comentarios. Trust me, we do have a filter!
    María

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    Replies
    1. AllieDecember 12, 2013 at 10:11 PM

      Hello. Obviously this post was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. I don't believe that ALL Spanish people don't have a filter or I wouldn't have married one. I am just making a cultural observation, that here in Spain people comment much more openly about other people's physical appearances. Especially compared to the United States. I apologize if I have offended you in a post meant to be light-hearted.

      Delete
  4. KrystaDecember 13, 2013 at 1:47 PM

    I stopped by your page because I remember Señora Serafe telling me to check it out when I thought we would be heading to Spain. We ended up not going to Spain, but I do have a friend in Seville now if you need more American friends!

    Anyways, I just wanted to comment on this because I feel your pain! The first time I went to visit my now husband's family they were like "here drink this tea, it's realllllllyyyyy good for weight loss" I was like mmm okay thanks for calling me fat…! And then at my rehearsal dinner they said I looked pregnant (and I was at my skinniest probably) I yi yi!

    Thanks for all the fun posts!

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    Replies
    1. AllieDecember 21, 2013 at 9:24 PM

      Hello Krysta! Somehow your comment was sent to my spam folder : (

      I am glad to hear you enjoy the blog and that you can relate to my comments about the lack of filter. It's tough to not fit into the thin mold here. Needless to say I am not really looking forward to the comments that are sure to come at Christmas, all the while I am offered food left and right...

      Delete

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