Gypsies, tramps and thieves. But mainly just gypsies.

Last week I had several run-ins with gypsies here in Sevilla where it seems you can´t swing a dead cat without hitting one (as my mom would say). What are gypsies like in real life? Well first of all, we aren´t talking about Disney´s Esmeralda (from the Hunchback of Notre Dame, one of Disney´s most underrated films) which was what I imagined before arriving. In order to give my perception of what a gypsy is like here in the south of Spain, I am going to make some generalizations here (this is my disclaimer). Gypsies tend to have cartoonishly proportioned body types. They are either rail thin or barrel bodied (think extreme apple shape). They have darker complexions and the women have loooooooooooooong hair. They are easy to spot because of the haphazard way they are often dressed in contrast to the very careful way other Spaniards choose their clothing. If Spanish people in general are loud, gypsies are scandalously so. If you are ever walking by the cathedral, gypsies are the women offering fake rosemary and fortune telling to unsuspecting tourists. Walk on by. It might not be true (but I would wager it is) that many gypsies do not work in the most honest trades. They are often seen at markets selling questionable goods for example. There is a lot of romanticizing of their culture until you experience it first hand.
That being said, we will move on to the story which is just one example of the many I have had the pleasure of experiencing here: last weekend Jose and I decided to go see the movie "Ispansi" (Spaniards in Russian) which was awful and starred an actress worse than Kristen Stewart. That is really besides the point. While waiting in line to buy our tickets, a group of gypsies enters from stage left. The gentlesir who can only be described as the ringleader of said circus cuts in front of everyone patiently waiting and literally screams to the poor girl working, "seven for Torrente (a newly released movie)." His seven tickets were to include a gaggle of whiny children, one toothless woman and another disheveled woman both wearing slippers a.k.a. house shoes. Here is my trick for recognized a gypsy 9 times out of 10. If they are wearing a track suit and slippers, you can be pretty sure they are. After mounting an incredible scene which included a lot of shouting back and forth even though they were within a space of 3 cubic feet, they departed to see their film, during which I am sure they talked the whole time.
The following day, we were cutting through an indoor market close to our apartment when we were lucky enough to be spectators at another gypsy show. Though we missed what caused said ruckus, we did catch the second act which included a woman screaming some of the dirtiest curses and phrases I have ever heard whether in English or in Spanish. Though the c-word is pretty common here in Spain, this woman took it to another level. Her cursing would have made a pirate blush. I will give her credit for her creativity. But is it really ever appropriate to wish someone cancer in their collective orifices? It didn´t seem to phase her that there were children all over the place. Nope. No censor at all. Classy.
Earlier last week I got on the bus after running some errands which included a gym session. As I have already stated in an earlier blog, I tend to attract the creepers on the bus. This time was no different. An older man sat down next to me even though there were about 25 empty seats. He then proceeded to start talking to me. Why didn´t I charge my Ipod? So he is rambling on for a bit, explaining what he works in, where he is coming from etc. Then he tells me he is "gitano." I had already guessed as much. However, his next question threw me off. He proceeded to ask me if I was also a gypsy. Irrrriiiitttttttttt (insert sound of record stopping). This is the last time I get on the bus without showering after going to the gym.