The worst two weeks of my life
These last two weeks have been awful and I am just now starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel of crapiness. It all started on a Sunday night in mid January when I myself started to feel terrible and began to get sick. I woke up probably every hour from 2am until Jose went to work throwing up. When I was still feeling like death in the morning, still getting sick, I called off work. Jose took the girls to daycare and I stayed home between the bed and the bathroom. I know that I am a big baby but being nauseous is one of the worst things. That and migraines. Just gross.
I was seriously ill until mid-afternoon when I was able to fall asleep for a while. When I woke up I was feeling slightly better, Jose brought the girls home from daycare since they called saying both had a slight fever and so we had a low key afternoon and evening after Jose took them to the urgent care. This type of visit to the doctor has become sort of routine for us (since the girls started daycare). Usually we get the diagnosis of bronchitis and are sent home with an inhaler of medication. On Monday night when Jose took them in this was exactly what happened. Laura had bronchitis yet again but it wasn't too serious, observe her and give her her meds. Vera just had a cold.
Naturally the next day (Tuesday) I was feeling like someone had beat me up all while feeling quite weak having not eaten anything the day before so I called off work again (which I hate having to do). If you are a teacher you know how disruptive missing even one day can be for your students. I kept Laura and Vera home with me since they also appeared to not be feeling that great; Laura looked and sounded worse than Vera but again, we had been through bronchitis several times before and it had never been serious, just the typical kid stuff.
Throughout the day on Tuesday Laura was listless and slept a lot. She didn't have a fever but also didn't have an appetite. When she woke up from one of her naps I noticed how labored her breathing had gotten. She hadn't been coughing or anything like that and unlike other times when she had bronchitis I could hear the tell-tale whistling sound as she breathed. I immediately got everyone dressed and out the door (a chore with twins) and we went back to the doctor.
As soon as we were seen by the doctor Laura was put on masks with inhaled medication which didn't have the effect the pediatrician wanted so we were admitted to the hospital. This began ten long days of a hospital stay. It turned out that Laura not only had bronchitis but that she also picked up RSV, a combination that became quite serious. Because of the RSV (which is a virus) Vera wasn't allowed anywhere near us, we weren't allowed visitors and we had to wear masks whenever we left the room as well as having everyone who came in don masks. So Vera went to stay with my in-laws.
The first few days in the hospital were by far the worst. We had to give Laura her medication via a mask every few hours which she HATED. We were constantly having to wake her up so she wasn't getting any rest. Nurses and doctors were coming in all the time to take her temperature, listen to her breathing etc. They were all wearing masks which must have scared her but the worst part was the I.V. I don't know how many of you have had any experience with babies and I.V.s but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I am the kind of mom who tears up when my girls get shots, even with vaccinations. For me it breaks my heart when they look at you with those eyes that say, whyyyyyy are you letting them do this to me? Ugh. The I.V.? That's a whole other level of hell.
Laura was given an I.V. when we were admitted to the hospital (after the nurses tried in both hands and both arms, they finally got one to work in her arm). The first night she pulled it out while moving in her sleep. The next day she was dehydrated from not eating so they decided to put in another I.V. which resulted in more pokes (her feet, her arms, her hands). It was a terrible cycle. She's dehydrated so her veins collapse, they try another place on her body, they finally get one put in, she moves like a 10 month old and the I.V. eventually comes out. It had gotten to the point that we were having four different nurses stabbing her at a time, up to 18 different attempts in only a few days. I can't describe to you her screaming or the bruises on her little arms. I am trying not to cry just typing this.
I couldn't take it anymore and when the pediatrician came in the next day to scold me for not controlling my daughter so the I.V.s wouldn't come out I lost it. I just started sobbing. This doctor blamed me for my baby moving and an I.V. coming out of her foot. Fuck. you. (Excuse my language but seriously this guy was a jerk). He basically made me feel awful and that it was my fault that Laura kept losing her I.V.s as if I was encouraging her to move around, as if she had the energy to be active. At this point I had decided in my mind that we weren't going to do the I.V. anymore and that we would have to find another solution. And as if by magic, that day Laura started eating again.
From that point on she recovered quite well and as the days slowly ticked by and she got better, we reduced the number of times we had to give her her medication and we got to get rid of her oxygen mask as well. Eventually she was eating again and was my happy girl again. She learned how fun it was to throw her toys off the hospital bed and that was when I knew she was feeling better.
All this time, Vera had been staying at my in-laws' house and we only got to see her for an hour or so each afternoon. I jokingly said it was like visitation hours but this also weighed heavily on me. I know that Vera was in great hands and was loving being the center of attention with her abuelo and abuela but for me it was heartbreaking. I want to be with both my girls. I want to feed them and bathe them and tuck them in at night. It sucked and I missed her toothy little smile.
During one of our meetings with a specialist pediatrician we began to talk about the future and the possibility of other episodes happening with Laura. Basically now that she has this history with her lungs it is quite possible that she will continue to get sick. We just have to try to keep her out of situations where she might contract other illnesses that might complicate things. All of this meant no more daycare, which in turn means no more working for me. Jose and I weighed our options and me leaving my job made the most sense for us. So in the midst of all this hospital drama, I had to quit a job that I really enjoyed, working with people that I really liked. It was like the final kick in the stomach that I needed. So now I am going to be a full time stay at home mom which I am looking forward to in a lot of ways, don't get me wrong and I will do anything to prevent this from happening again.
Thankfully we were finally released on Friday afternoon and have spent the weekend trying to get back into a routine. I just wanted to thank everyone who sent messages or called, who followed us on Facebook and was encouraging. You guys helped us get through the last two weeks. Thank you also to Jose who kept me together. All I can say is that I am so happy to be home with BOTH my girls.
I was seriously ill until mid-afternoon when I was able to fall asleep for a while. When I woke up I was feeling slightly better, Jose brought the girls home from daycare since they called saying both had a slight fever and so we had a low key afternoon and evening after Jose took them to the urgent care. This type of visit to the doctor has become sort of routine for us (since the girls started daycare). Usually we get the diagnosis of bronchitis and are sent home with an inhaler of medication. On Monday night when Jose took them in this was exactly what happened. Laura had bronchitis yet again but it wasn't too serious, observe her and give her her meds. Vera just had a cold.
Naturally the next day (Tuesday) I was feeling like someone had beat me up all while feeling quite weak having not eaten anything the day before so I called off work again (which I hate having to do). If you are a teacher you know how disruptive missing even one day can be for your students. I kept Laura and Vera home with me since they also appeared to not be feeling that great; Laura looked and sounded worse than Vera but again, we had been through bronchitis several times before and it had never been serious, just the typical kid stuff.
Throughout the day on Tuesday Laura was listless and slept a lot. She didn't have a fever but also didn't have an appetite. When she woke up from one of her naps I noticed how labored her breathing had gotten. She hadn't been coughing or anything like that and unlike other times when she had bronchitis I could hear the tell-tale whistling sound as she breathed. I immediately got everyone dressed and out the door (a chore with twins) and we went back to the doctor.
As soon as we were seen by the doctor Laura was put on masks with inhaled medication which didn't have the effect the pediatrician wanted so we were admitted to the hospital. This began ten long days of a hospital stay. It turned out that Laura not only had bronchitis but that she also picked up RSV, a combination that became quite serious. Because of the RSV (which is a virus) Vera wasn't allowed anywhere near us, we weren't allowed visitors and we had to wear masks whenever we left the room as well as having everyone who came in don masks. So Vera went to stay with my in-laws.
The first few days in the hospital were by far the worst. We had to give Laura her medication via a mask every few hours which she HATED. We were constantly having to wake her up so she wasn't getting any rest. Nurses and doctors were coming in all the time to take her temperature, listen to her breathing etc. They were all wearing masks which must have scared her but the worst part was the I.V. I don't know how many of you have had any experience with babies and I.V.s but I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I am the kind of mom who tears up when my girls get shots, even with vaccinations. For me it breaks my heart when they look at you with those eyes that say, whyyyyyy are you letting them do this to me? Ugh. The I.V.? That's a whole other level of hell.
Laura was given an I.V. when we were admitted to the hospital (after the nurses tried in both hands and both arms, they finally got one to work in her arm). The first night she pulled it out while moving in her sleep. The next day she was dehydrated from not eating so they decided to put in another I.V. which resulted in more pokes (her feet, her arms, her hands). It was a terrible cycle. She's dehydrated so her veins collapse, they try another place on her body, they finally get one put in, she moves like a 10 month old and the I.V. eventually comes out. It had gotten to the point that we were having four different nurses stabbing her at a time, up to 18 different attempts in only a few days. I can't describe to you her screaming or the bruises on her little arms. I am trying not to cry just typing this.
I couldn't take it anymore and when the pediatrician came in the next day to scold me for not controlling my daughter so the I.V.s wouldn't come out I lost it. I just started sobbing. This doctor blamed me for my baby moving and an I.V. coming out of her foot. Fuck. you. (Excuse my language but seriously this guy was a jerk). He basically made me feel awful and that it was my fault that Laura kept losing her I.V.s as if I was encouraging her to move around, as if she had the energy to be active. At this point I had decided in my mind that we weren't going to do the I.V. anymore and that we would have to find another solution. And as if by magic, that day Laura started eating again.
From that point on she recovered quite well and as the days slowly ticked by and she got better, we reduced the number of times we had to give her her medication and we got to get rid of her oxygen mask as well. Eventually she was eating again and was my happy girl again. She learned how fun it was to throw her toys off the hospital bed and that was when I knew she was feeling better.
All this time, Vera had been staying at my in-laws' house and we only got to see her for an hour or so each afternoon. I jokingly said it was like visitation hours but this also weighed heavily on me. I know that Vera was in great hands and was loving being the center of attention with her abuelo and abuela but for me it was heartbreaking. I want to be with both my girls. I want to feed them and bathe them and tuck them in at night. It sucked and I missed her toothy little smile.
During one of our meetings with a specialist pediatrician we began to talk about the future and the possibility of other episodes happening with Laura. Basically now that she has this history with her lungs it is quite possible that she will continue to get sick. We just have to try to keep her out of situations where she might contract other illnesses that might complicate things. All of this meant no more daycare, which in turn means no more working for me. Jose and I weighed our options and me leaving my job made the most sense for us. So in the midst of all this hospital drama, I had to quit a job that I really enjoyed, working with people that I really liked. It was like the final kick in the stomach that I needed. So now I am going to be a full time stay at home mom which I am looking forward to in a lot of ways, don't get me wrong and I will do anything to prevent this from happening again.
Thankfully we were finally released on Friday afternoon and have spent the weekend trying to get back into a routine. I just wanted to thank everyone who sent messages or called, who followed us on Facebook and was encouraging. You guys helped us get through the last two weeks. Thank you also to Jose who kept me together. All I can say is that I am so happy to be home with BOTH my girls.
Oh Allie, what a horrible scary situation. Poor girl, good thing you were there to fight for her and comfort her. That dr sounded like an ass. I'm so glad all is well now and I think you will enjoying being a stay st home mom. Just make sure to get out of the house without the girls a couple times a week.
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